Monday, April 27, 2009

Why I hate being called sir

I hate being called sir. The term sir and other honorifics are leftovers from a class stratified society. A society where an accident of birth could make you forever rich or forever poor. A society where many talents are lost because of an accident of birth.

I believe very strongly that while not all people are created equal they are all *people* and each person has the same inherent value as another. Some people have more skills in one area than another, some are more clever than others, but that in no way makes them better than a person with lesser skills or is less clever. Each person has unique potential and gifts, and we should respect them for their potential and gifts - but that does not make them better or worse than a person with a different set of unique potential and gifts.

Unfortunately for us some people's talents are truly antisocial (a gifted serial killer is still a serial killer). I have no problems with removing these people from society as long as we review the individual cases and decide on the merits of the individual.

With the exception of destructive individuals everyone has equal merit. A janitor is just as likely to have a good idea as the president of a company. More likely if the problem falls into his area of experience. Similarly the president of a company is just as likely to have a bad idea as a janitor, particularly if the issue is outside of his scope of experience.

I do not like the way corporations have stratified their employees into classes, with the inherent belief that the farther up the structure the person is the more likely they are to be right. This is nonsense. Being the president of a beer company does not automatically make that person an expert in all facets of the company. It is possible that they are, having risen through the ranks, but it is more likely that they are not. If the president is wise he will stick to what he knows and let others worry about the details of running the company. If he is like most presidents of modern corporations he will assume he knows more than anyone else in the company and stick his nose into areas he has no knowledge of, interfering with the people who are truly doing the work.

So to get back to where I started. I hate being called sir because that assumes I am better than the person calling me that and it isn't true. I am not better than them, just skilled in different things. Similarly I refuse to call others sir, because I do not believe that they are better than I am - simply skilled in different things. I respect each individual for their individual talents, but I withhold judgment until I have seen those talents. Titles don't mean much to me, the individual does.


2 comments:

Rodney Smith said...

Where I come from, being called Sir is not quite an insult, but its close. Coming to the US was quite a shock for me in that regard. It didn't take me long to realize that these folks were just being polite, but the inherent stratification you mention still bothered me a little.

My current solution is to call everyone sir or ma'am, particularly if they are serving me. This way I can both show decent manners AND elevate those who might otherwise feel servile.

I put it down to one of the quirks of living in the US, and have internalized it in the same category as please and thank you.

Unknown said...

I try to treat everyone nicely and say please and thank you to everyone, especially servers. But I don't call anyone sir or ma'am. It just seems wrong.

Glad to see I am not alone in my beliefs.