I read a news article about couples hiding spending from each other. The article tried to make the point that couples are more willing to talk about sex than money, but I don't think it really succeeded to make that point. Regardless, here is my thoughts on finances in relationships.
When a couple is living together but not married they shouldn't pool their money into one account. Marriage is a legal bond and if you haven't committed to that you shouldn't commit to pooling your money. Keep your money separate and each should contribute to the joint expenses (housing, food, utilities, shared vacations, etc.) by whatever agreement they can work out.
When a couple is married they should pool their money into one account but they should have an agreed on amount that each should get per week/month/whatever to spend as they wish. This amount should be for individual hobbies, clothing, entertainment, etc. It should be kept in separate accounts if it accumulates. This allows the individual to spend money as they wish without the need to get approval from their spouse. Of course this amount should be equal for each.
That is my opinion on the subject any way and if you are in a relationship where things work differently then good for you, at least you have a solution that works. But if money is a cause of friction in your relationship then maybe this will give you something to think about.
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I think one reason people who are not arried pool money is to make it easier to make sure each "pays their share"./ If the accounts are separate, then there is the danger that one share will not make it into the kitty as regularly as it should. of course, in that case one wonders at the wisdom of continuing the relationship, but...that's why.
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